And now I'm putting my $.02 to work.

Most everyone I know is pretty strapped for cash. But, even if you can't afford a large donation to the Red Cross or other charities for hurricane relief, perhaps you could part with some of your spare change.

A lot of grocery stores across the country now have Coinstar machines that will accept donations of spare change to a variety of charities, including the Red Cross. Go to their website to find a Coinstar machine near you.

It's cliche and cheesy, I know.....but every little bit does help.

My $.02

I've largely avoided talking much about New Orleans and the hurricane damage. I do have a lot of thoughts on the matter, but I'm keeping them to myself. All the folks that I know personally are accounted for and safe, as far as I'm aware. And though I'm heart-broken over New Orleans for many personal reasons, this is not my tragedy. I want to avoid falling into the easy trap of hijacking someone else's tragedy for my own catharsis.....something a lot of other people would be wise to try out.

That being said, I do have an observation, as an outsider.

As we all watch the nightmare unfolding down there on the Gulf, I think it's fair to say we are all horrified, sympathetic, in shock, etc. We're all trying to comprehend the loss of life with a magnitude we can't even be aware of yet. And at the risk of sounding like a George W. Bush speech, it's hard not to see a parallel with the feelings that followed the 9/11 attack.

Except, it's different this time. This time we don't have anyone to be pissed off at. There's no one to hate. No racial, ethnic or religious slurs can be bandied about to ease the pain. There're no hastily produced t-shirts, bumper-stickers, car magnets, etc. ad nausem to let us boldly proclaim our solidarity as American Consumers Citizens. This time no one can distract themselves from their hurt with blood lust. And that beautiful natural urge to "help" that most humans have, isn't diluted by the equally powerful and natural urge for revenge.

We all have to deal with this tragedy at face value: something horrible has happened, and we couldn't stop it. Then we have to deal with the raw, unmasked grief that accompanies a realization like that. And then we have to recover. And that's all we can do.

When bowties attack.

I hate Tucker Carlson.

But it's funny to watch him get all uptight* and swear.



*Well, more uptight than usual.

I'll Stumble 4 Ya!

First off....I love Culture Club. I love Culture Club almost as much as I love gleefully butchering Culture Club lyrics for my own personal amusement.

And now, onto the point.

As a FireFox user, I just added on the StumbleUpon extension for my browser. Words cannot express how much I love this application. It's probably the best thing that's happened to my computer since I downloaded the "Afternoon Delight" music video from Anchorman. And it's one of the best things that's happened to me, personally, since I first saw Anchorman in the theater.

But don't just take my word for it:

• StumbleUpon lets you "channelsurf" the best-reviewed sites on the web. It is a collaborative surfing tool for browsing, reviewing and sharing great sites with like-minded people. This helps you find interesting webpages you wouldn't think to search for.

• Ever sat there bored of viewing the same sites?After a fresh outlook? Well this toolbar by StumbleUpon provides the ability for you to literally stumble round the net discovering all new sites. The sites you're presented with are based on a profile you set at sign up. Incredibly addictive and adds a whole new dimension to surfing!

• This is what free time was designed for

  Superb! Would not be surprised if Google made an offer to integrate this in with their search technology! Definitely a real recommendation, be warned, you may find the web a lot more interesting after installing this, so buy the wife/girlfriend flowers/chocs/lingerie in advance to apologize for your away time!!

• WARNING!!!

  This will eat your life.
  

Seriously, this is some kickass stuff. I've probably randomly found more quality websites chock full of awesomeness in the past 24 hours than I have in my entire life up to this point.

There's so much good stuff, I can't even begin to list it right now. Maybe later.

Holy cow....

That's some hurricane.



Good luck to all of my New Orleans and Gulf Coast friends and acquaintances, as you get the hell out of Dodge.

I really worry about all the people who have no means to evacuate the city of New Orleans. They're being put up in the SuperDome apparently....but I have a feeling that if a 25 ft storm surge hits...the SuperDome isn't going to be very super after all.

UPDATE: My friend Jen called me from her car as she's evacuating. In 5 hours, she has managed to drive 14 miles. Her voicemail informed me that the radio station she was listening to for evacuation instructions, traffic information, etc. had taken a convenient station break for prayer. So she called me, instead.

Hello. Salud.

This is why I love the internet.

Seriously...how'd we ever live without this technology?

Thanks to link-less Dan for the email.

Meditation on "Ass-Hats"

As anyone who talks to me and/or follows the blog knows, I really like the word “ass-hat.” I use it a lot. Mostly, I use it a lot, because there happen to be a lot of ass-hats out there.

And it conveys perfectly its intended connotation. When you say that “so-and-so is a total ass-hat,” your audience knows immediately exactly what you mean, even if they’ve never heard the word before. It’s very efficient that way.

Recently, a handful of unrelated people have commented on my use of the word ass-hat, either in the blogosphere or in person.

Specifically, a departing co-worker confessed that in the time we’ve worked together, he has begun integrating “ass-hat” into his everyday vocabulary, all thanks to me. (This was a very proud moment for me.) He said he’d never heard it before he met me, and wondered if I had coined the phrase myself.

So I thought about it.

But no, I don’t believe I did coin it myself. Although, I have been using it for years. And I do not remember when or where or how I first came in contact with the term. It just seems unfathomable that I could be solely responsible for the ass-hat revolution, even though I wish with all my heart that I was.

Hoping to find a clue to the actual origin, I looked up the phrase on UrbanDictionary.Com. Very entertaining indeed!

Some of my favorite definitions:

• One whose head is so far up their rear end it could pass for a hat; used to describe a person who is stubborn, cruel, or otherwise unpleasant to be around.


• What guys think the Heart symbol in chatting is. <3
Jen: I <3 You Mike: What? Why do you ass-hat me?

• 1. A hat worn by a drunken fool, or ass.2. A foolish person, as one who would wear an asshat.

And I also found these lovely illustrations, which made me so incredibly happy:

Although I do not take credit for coining the phrase, I WILL take credit for perpetuating its popularity. So, do me a favor and call at least one person an ass-hat today. It’ll make you feel better, I swear.

Friday again?

You know the drill.

Today with random lyrics that I like.

Just because I'm bored and I actually listened to all of these right now.

1. Last Night I Dreamt that Somebody Loved Me--Morrissey
"No hope, no harm. Just another false alarm."

2. Two Fine People--Cat Stevens
"Anything that Heaven can give you, I can give you instead."

3. Killing An Arab--The Cure
"I can turn and walk away or I can fire the gun.....which ever I choose, it amounts to the same: Absolutely nothing."

4. Angel Mine--Cowboy Junkies
"I can't promise that I'll grow those wings, or keep this tarnished halo shined..."

5. Arlington Queen--stellastarr*
"This is how we kill ourselves. And maybe we were wrong. But who will ever know?"

6. The Trapeze Swinger--Iron & Wine
"and then they went on to say that the Pearly Gates had some eloquent graffiti,
like: 'we'll meet again' and 'fuck the Man' and 'tell my mother not to worry.'"

7. This Modern Love--Bloc Party
"I've never known what's good for me."

8. The Monk and the Bug--The Harvey Girls
"We're all alike in insignificance."

9. Coney Island--Death Cab for Cutie
"Brooklyn will fill in the beach eventually and everyone will go except me."

10. Not an Addict--K's Choice
"It's not a habit. It's cool."

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There are certain words in the English language, that when strung together in certain combinations become very, VERY dangerous.

For example (or Por Ejemplo en español):

• Hey
• Flamingo
• It's
• Eleven
• A.M.
• Do
  
• You
• Want
• To
  
• Start
• Drinking
• Now

can be combined to particularly deadly results.

Meet the Press

Senator Feingold is going to be on Meet the Press tomorrow morning on NBC. If I know you and you don't watch it, or at least tape it, I'm going to be mad at you. Even if I don't know you, I'll probably be mad at you.

EDIT: Transcript is here. Highlights are on-line too, but I'm too tired to figure out how to link it directly. (I hate javascript.)

Let's brew up a nice big pot of negativity....

Shall we?

Buckle up kiddies, it's going to be a bumpy ride.

Things That I Hate Today
(a bullet-pointed list because, surprisingly, I do NOT hate bullet-points):

• Tylenol. Because it is too damn slow and it makes my stomach feel funny.
  
• Bullies. You know who you are. If you are a person who pushes around other people because they are too nice to say anything about it, be warned. I'm about at the point where I'm going to start randomly kicking you in the testicles (or punching you in the chest, if you're a girl. Asshole-itis is a gender-blind disease, I'm afraid). Call it karma.
  
• Other drivers who are not me. If you drive like an idiot when I'm trying to get to work, please stop.
  
• Other drivers who are not me who insist upon pulling trailers and boats and any number of other random bullshit attachments to prove that they are important and then use that as an excuse to be complete and utter ass-hats on the road. I hate you I hate you I hate you. I'm too nice of a person to give you the finger when you cut me off, but rest assured that I DO still hate you.
• Cancer.
  
• USA Today. What a fucking waste of trees.
• Faux-hawks. Self-explanatory.
  
• Faux-Liberals. Also self-explanatory.
  
• That Fanta song. Fanta Fanta, don't you want a Fanta Fanta...If I ever snap and go completely insane and go around terrorizing the country-side, you can be damn sure that this was the trigger.
  
• Coke Zero. I'm sorry, but it just tastes gross.
• Remy Zero. For breaking up.
• Swing Voters. That's right. You thought I'd forget about you. Bush's approval rating is tanking. We've always hated him, and the die-hard Republicans will always love him. So, WHO could possibly be the ones shifting? Swing voters. Why couldn't you lot have figured out that Bush was a piss-poor leader ten months ago and saved us all a lot of trouble? What, exactly, is he doing now that you don't like, that surprises you? Rising gas prices? Quagmire in Iraq? Nominating ass-hats to important major-decision-making positions? NONE OF THESE ARE NEW DEVELOPMENTS. You are idiots.
• Provolone cheese. Like I need a reason. Back off.
  

I could go on all night, but I don't want to.

In summary:

Things I hate: A lot of them.
Things I don't hate: Bullet-points. Lists. The word "ass-hats."

That is all.

Hey Strangers

I've been neglecting the blog again. My apologies.

The past few weeks I've logged an insane amount of hours working at one job or another. And a number of personal and family issues have been occupying what's left of my mind; none of which need to be blogged about.

So, that's that.

I'll be around.

Friday Random Ten

1. At Seventeen--Janis Ian

2. My Heart is Breaking Down--Caesars
(This has quickly become an all-time favorite song)

3. I Want Your Sex--George Michael
(speaking of all-time favorites....)

4. Question--Old 97s

5. Hey Now, What You Doing?--New Order
("don't go down that road to ruin....you had the brightest future, writing songs on your computer"... I love New Order so much it hurts.)

6. Bad Habit--Offspring
(the classic road-rage song)

7. Get Your Own War--Doctor

8. Animals + Insects--The Stills
("I walked out of the nightclub thinking 'animals and insects don't do drugs.'"

9. Low--Cracker

10. Just What I Needed--The Cars

Apparently, I've always been a smart-ass....

I'm surprised my parents put up with as much as they did.

A note from me to the tooth fairy, circa 1987:



I didn't even say "please"!

A great business plan....

Because who wouldn't buy their toddler a $128 pair of jeans?


(now...maybe if they included a pseudo-talented famous actor and a catchy jingle, I might be tempted. )

I think I'm very susceptible to subliminal advertising

Or blatant advertising. Either one, really.

I downloaded a song today. It's my new favorite song: Callin' Out by Lyrics Born. Or, you might know it better as "the song from the Adrian Brody Diet Coke ad." I don't think I've ever seen that ad on television, but there was a period of 3 or 4 months where I saw it before every single movie I went to.

It's a really catchy little song. It makes you want to bounce down the sidewalk. It makes you want to shout "Heeeey Brody!" suggestively to random passers-by.

And it makes me thirsty for Diet Coke. (Although to be fair, so does waking up in the morning.)

And it kinda sorta makes me want Adrian Brody.

I don't even like Adrian Brody.

That's some pretty potent advertising.

It's Monday....

And Focus on the Family movie reviews make me happy.

You just KNOW this is going to end up in a Disney movie

Cheerleader chant helps cops nab crash suspect
Girls repeated license plate number of car that left scene of accident

ANN ARBOR, Mich. - A man who left an accident scene was tracked down with the help of some cheerleaders who witnessed the crash and turned his license plate number into a cheer, police said.

“I knew I was going to not remember it because there was too much going on,” coach Patricia Clark said Monday on NBC’s “Today.” “So, when I ran down the street and got the plate number, I yelled to the girls: 'Remember this!'"

The cheerleaders put their skills to work, chanting the license number.

“The coach just said it and we were saying it over and over, and then it just turned into a big chant since we kept repeating it,” said Kimmie Ostrowski, a senior captain for the team who also appeared on “Today.”

Pulling an all-nighter

I volunteered for an extra shift at work tonight. 11:15 at night until 8 or 9 in the morning. I have to stay awake ALL night. I haven't done that in a long time. I hope I'm up to the challenge.

I slept in 'til noon today, and I'm about to settle in for another cat nap. Which rocks. And my boss said I can bring in movies, or basically do whatever I want to to stay awake. So, I'm going to get paid to watch DVDs all night long. You just can't beat that.

Friday again?

Friday Random Ten

1. Shine Like It Does--INXS
2. Crown of Thorns (live)--Pearl Jam
3. I'm Not Cryin' For You--Save Ferris
4. Born Too Late--The Clarks
5. The More You Ignore Me (the closer I get)--Morrissey
6. Warriors--Alix Olsen
7. Second Suite in F--composed by Gustav Holst
8. Say Something--The Watchmen
9. Help Me Mary--Liz Phair
10. Up All Night--Shawn Mullins

I've been tagged

R has tagged me to disclose the contents of my nightstand.

I don't have a nightstand, per se....but I DO have a small bookshelf that is in close proximity to my bed. I won't include the two shelves of books, but just the stuff on top.

Color pencils
Red, green, blue and black pens
A notebook
A jar of mardi gras beads
glasses
contact lens case
contact lens solution
Dead Like Me Season 2 DVDs
remotes for the TV, VCR, and DVD player
alarm clock
The Ultimate Encyclopedia of Mythology

And that's it. I won't tag anyone else specifically, but if anyone has a burning desire to tell the world about their nightstand, consider yourself invited.

But words can never hurt me

An 11 year-old girl was arrested on a felony deadly weapon charge for throwing a 2 lb. rock at a boy during a water-balloon fight.

Some people are shocked that rock-throwing would be considered assault with a deadly weapon, especially coming from an 11 year-old girl. Apparently, those people haven't paid attention to the Palestinian kids since, like, forever.

We take our rock-throwing seriously.