A retraction of my own.

A while ago, I said here that I didn't care too awfully much about James Frey's dishonest memoir "Million Little Pieces," and that I was more upset that the form of the book was the most obnoxious thing I've read since "He's Just Not That Into You."

I lied.

I think James Frey is a weasel. And now I need to post about it again. Why? Because all the cool kids are doing it.

I don't know if I would have hated the book as much as I do if I had read it before I knew about the lies. Probably. But the lying really makes it worse. At first it was just annoying. Then I got PISSED. I can pinpoint the exact moment that the change occurred.

About a famous recovering rockstar who lectured about his history:

"...After a while, after far too long a while, he talks about drinking and drugs. When he talks of heroin, he taps the bend of his elbow with two fingers, when he talks of coke he sniffs, booze he makes a motion like he has a bottle, pills as if he's tossing them in. He claims that at the height of his use he would do five thousand dollars of cocaine and heroin a day mixed with four to five fifths of booze a night and up to forty pills of Valium to sleep. He says this with complete sincerity and with the utmost seriousness.
I am tired and I am spent. I am nervous and I am happy. I am calm. Were I in my normal frame of mind, I would stand up, point my finger, scream Fraud, and chase this Chump Motherfucker down and give him a beating. Were I in my normal frame of mind, after I gave him his beating, I would make him come back here and apologize to everyone for wasting their precious time. After the apology, I would tell him that if I ever heard of him spewing his bullshit fantasies in Public again, I would cut off his precious hair, scar his precious lips, and take all of his goddamn gold records and shove them straight up his ass.
I don't like this man. I don't like what he has to say or how he's saying it. I don't believe him and his Rock Star status isn't enough to make me buy the shit he's trying to sell. Four to five thousand dollars is enough to kill a Person several times over....
There is no excitement, no glamour, no fun. There are no good times, there is no joy, there is no happiness. There is no future and no escape. There is only an obsession. An all-encompassing, fully enveloping, completely overwhelming obsession. To make light of it, brag about it, or revel in the mock glory of it is not in any way, shape or form related to its truth, and that is all that matters, the truth. That this man is standing in front of me and everyone else in this room lying to us is heresy. The truth is all that matters. This is fucking heresy."

And it doesn't stop here. Throughout the book, Frey makes sure we all know how important the Truth is to him. James, apparently, doesn't like Liars.

About someone in treatment who exaggerates and lies about his bad deeds:

"He is telling a story about some Mobsters he knows in Brooklyn, claiming that he manages their money through investments in the Stock Market and they get him drugs and women and whatever else he wants. When he talks of amounts of drugs, Matty laughs and says he should have asked for more. Bobby then corrects himself and says that he actually did get more. When he talks of women, Ed tells him that four at a time isn't that big of a deal and Bobby says the next time that he had eight...
Eventually, I get tired of Bobby and his bullshit and I snicker at a comment he makes about the amount of money he earns, which he claims to be in the millions each year. He stops talking and he stares at me and he asks me what the fuck I think is so funny. I stare back and I tell him that I find his lies amusing...
Bobby, like all Liars confronted, is instantly defensive and instantly mad."

About a TV show depicting a drug addict:

"She is a beautiful young woman whose body is absent of any bruises, scars or track marks. She wears dirty clothes that are ragged in a glamorous way. She cries whenever anyone talks to her and there are large, black bags under her eyes, though her crying is obviously fake and the bags under her eyes are a different size each time we see her...."

Needless to say, James doesn't like that particular program. He goes on to describe in great detail what he would do to punish the people in that program for being liars.

So, yeah. I think James Frey is a weasel who has made a huge profit off of being a liar. And a hypocrite. I don't have time for that.

Friday Random Ten: Technical Difficulties Edition

My computer, which is probably the closest thing I'll ever have to a baby, got sick last weekend. Until it can be repaired, I'm working with a new computer. It's young and eager, but it's not familiar and comfortable. It doesn' t know what I like and what I don't like. But mostly, it doesn't have all of my files on it.

So, my Friday Random Ten has kind of a weak pool to pull from. Just the 500 songs I have on my iPod Nano. It's sad. I know. But we'll get through this together.

1. Poor Company--Sons & Daughters
2. Don't Change--INXS
3. Walk Away--Franz Ferdinand
4. The New Year--Death Cab for Cutie
5. Te Dejo Madrid--Shakira
6. The Monk and the Bug--The Harvey Girls
7. Messed Up in the Heart--My Project: Blue
8. Magnifique (live)--Scissor Sisters
9. We're Not Gonna Take It (live at Southport Hall, New Orleans)--The Molly Ringwalds
10. Snowman--The Clarks

I love free stuff.

It's almost February. That means it's almost my almost-birthday. True, with no Leap Day this year, I don't have a real birthday. However, this isn't stopping me from getting the free swag that I love so much.

Today in the mail I got not one, but TWO birthday cards and TWO $10 gift cards from Victoria's Secret. Apparently I somehow managed to get on their mailing list twice. I'm not sure what this says about me as a person.

And tonight, I got 6 free tickets to ACME Comedy Company for any weeknight show during the month of February. I picked Maria Bamford. Because she's awesome, and I was planning to go anyway. But NOW, she will be awesome for FREE.

My birthday present from Marlboro should be arriving shortly.

I could SO be an evil genius.

My random thought for the day:

If I were an evil genius super-villain in a comic, I'd be so awesome at it. I have this great plan to wreak havoc and mayhem and facilitate world domination. You know how every decent evil genius super-villain has some sort of cool and deadly world-ending gadget? I thought of a great one today.

If I were an evil genius super-villain in a comic, I would invent a special kind of cooling laser or generator that would eliminate friction on demand.

Think about it for a minute.

That would seriously fuck stuff up.

I'd start off small, just testing it in isolated areas. People would walking down the sidewalk then ZAP! The ground beneath their feet would suddenly feel like the smoothest ice imaginable and they'd all fall on their asses, BAM!

When I was ready for a larger-scale attack (POW!), there would be some significant mayhem to be created. Cars would swerve into things, and lots of stuff would stop working (I remember learning in Physics that friction is, like, totally important).

Then eventually, I'd have developed the capability to de-frictionize the whole planet with the push of a button. At that point, I could demand a huge ransom from world leaders in return for allowing them to keep their precious friction. MWAH HA HA HA!

Of course, I'd have to fend off a pesky superhero or two....but like all good evil genius super villains, I have enough hubris to believe that those worthless do-gooders could never touch me.

I'd have to come up with a better evil genius super-villain name though...."Flamingo" doesn't really inspire the kind of fear and intimidation that I'd be looking for.


(on a totally different random note: this is a good account of my high school band camp memories.)

That's what I call REAL spam mail.

This post is about my most treasured possession. Now, I know that I like to tell everyone that my most treasured possession is the photo that Jimmy Buffett autographed to me, but that's a lie. Jimmy is really just a close second.

My real most treasured possession is a letter about SPAM.

When I was little, I used to beg my mother to cook SPAM. Not because I liked eating it....GOD no. That stuff tasted horrible. But, at the time the cans were opened with a little key-type thing. Whenever my mom cooked SPAM at my request, I got to keep the little keys. I had quite a collection of them, and they always figured prominently into whatever fantastical make-believe games I happened to be playing at the time. I loved those keys. They were, dare I say it, magical to me.

Then, when I was 7 years old, something horrible happened. Hormel changed the way they packaged SPAM, and started using boring old ring-openers like pop cans have. Those sucked. They were of absolutely no value in any of my make-believe worlds.

So, I did what any abnormal 7 year-old would do: I sat down and crafted a protest letter to SPAM. I voiced my dismay over the new packaging. I explained my argument, elaborating on many of the make-believe games that resided solely in my warped little brain. I strongly encouraged them to reconsider their horrible decision, and I vaguely hinted at a possible SPAM Boycott in the very near future.

A few weeks later, I got a large envelope in the mail from Hormel. Someone had read my letter (much to their amusement, I'm sure) and thought enough of it to personally respond.



click to enlarge

Now, at the time, the letter and accompanying SPAM Poster just pissed me off more. They were NOT going to take my advice, which was very disappointing. Also, they did not send me boxes and boxes of left-over keys, as I had frequently envisioned in my fantasies.

But now, whenever I run across the letter (which I have saved in its original envelope) it makes me laugh every time. Which is worth quite a bit to me. Even more than an elusive Jimmy Buffett autograph.


The SPAM Luncheon Meat Poster--by popular demand

It's Friday. I should post something.

Here's my random music:

1. Your Little Hoodrat Friend--The Hold Steady
2. Stand Up--Freshwater Collins
3. Michelle--Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals
4. The Lucky Ones--Viva Voce
5. Get Yourself Together--Tahiti 80
6. Broken Face--Pixies
7. Bizarre Love Triangle (live)--The Molly Ringwalds
8. King of All the World--The Old 97's
9. Help Me Out--The Clarks
10. Baby Boomerang--The Shins

And in other news, I'm currently reading A Million Little Pieces by James Frey, just to see what all the fuss is about. I should note though, that I did look at this book just a week or so before all literary hell broke loose, so I'm not totally just a train-wreck spectator.

Maybe it's just me, but I'm far less concerned about the fact that a lot of the "memoir" is made up or exaggerated than I am about the fact that dude does not use quotation marks. ever. It's very confusing. I assume that's the point....to convey the theme of the confusion and disjointedness the author feels as a result of the addictions. But you know what? I have chosen to live my life on the straight and narrow....I'm high on life....hugs not drugs...just say no....all that junk, so that I DON'T have to be confused like that. What's the point of having kept my brain intact and sharp, if some punk author is just going to come along with no respect for grammatical correctness and fuck with my head?

How ya doing, Kid?
We separate.
I'm good.
Let me see those teeth.
I smile.
They look nice.
I guess so.
Was it worth it?
I survived.
I don't know how, but I guess you did.
It was worth it.
He laughs, moves toward the door.
come visit me in the Livery some time.
Where's the Livery?
It's the Van sitting in front of the Entrance.
I laugh. He reaches for the door.
You don't have to leave.
You two probably need to be alone.
I'd like you to stay.

On and on and on like that. Sometimes, random lines of dialogue will be in bold. I guess that's to signify yelling. I'm not sure. Anyway, I think there are far bigger fish to fry with this book than the fiction aspect. Personally, I think most memoirs are probably at least 15% bullshit. Events may be true....but I've yet to meet the person whose life unfolds in proper salable book format. In college, I took a few writing courses with a particular favorite English prof. Whenever he'd assign a memoir, I always did really well. I did well because he really liked "epiphanic moments" in memoirs....the moments where the lessons are learned and lives are changed and blah blah blah.

I don't have moments like that. But I am good at making them up. The events were always 100% real, but the epiphanies were typically made up. In the event of a real epiphany, my life would probably be a lot different now.

I don't blame the guy too much for fudging things a bit. As for the quotation marks though...I say crucify him. He gives me a headache.

And just to end on another random note, here's a video of my dog eating corn on the cob. I threw in some music just to make it less tedious and to drown out the very literal sound of crickets chirping.

Enjoy. When it rains, it pours.

My new favorite book.

I wish I had something interesting to say, but I'm busy being engrossed in a new book. Baseball and Philosophy has joined my bookshelf, in it's rightful place next to Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Philosophy, The Simpsons and Philosophy and The Matrix and Philosophy. Pop culture meets philosophy? I'm there. Even if they are kind of happy-fluffy-bunny philosophy books.

Anyhow, Baseball and Philosophy is my new favorite book. I've been gushing about it to everyone I talk to. Which really only makes people think I'm even weirder. I've found that most people don't particularly care about either philosophy or baseball. Their loss. If you're one of those people.....I'm sorry, in advance.

Myself, I have been practically salivating over every essay. My obvious favorite would be Minnesota's "Homer Hanky Jurisprudence": Contraction, Ethics, and the Twins. The contraction hubabaloo over the 2002 season still touches a nerve. That was an awful time. I still say very bad swears at my TV anytime I see Bud Selig's face. That rat bastard. But that's beside the point...it's an excellent essay looking at the unique benefits that the sport of baseball provides society, above and beyond revenue and monetary rewards, and how those benefits fit into a Utilitarian mindset.

Imagine someone in the very same community bringing a lawsuit to enforce the Minnesota Timberwolves' obligation to play the basketball season. The idea is absurd. Is it a part of the fabric of the community? An intangible community asset? Not quite. And it's not just about the Timberwolves versus the Twins; it's about baseball itself. As a game of mass appeal, basketball is young, on the move, the game of the hip-hop generation, where the most exciting plays take place, literally, in the air. A good basketball team, by definition, can't be tied down. In baseball...a sense of place still matters: the ivy at Wrigley Field, tech Green Monster at Fenway Park. Socks are still worn high, and for the most part, the manager, not the star player is still in charge of the team.

Like the utilitarian mandate to consider "the greatest good for the greatest number," baseball is rather retro, even without throwback uniforms to take us back in the day. Basketball, football, hockey are part of the new economy, playing by the rules of the market, subject to the antitrust laws that promote competition, operating like the businesses that they are. Under those rules, obligations to others are for suckers. The self-interest by each leads to the best results for all, or so the theory goes. But baseball succeeded in setting itself outside those rules, and now has to live with the consequences.

Other topics include the ethics of the intentional walk, the theme of sacrifice in baseball, and whether A-Rod really deserves that much money or not.

I love it.

If books were people, this book would make me rethink my position on marriage.

But where's the warning about trans fat?

I got some more free swag from Marlboro today (thanks to lying about being a smoker on a survey 2 years ago in order to get free swag such as this).

This time, I got an expensive-looking hard-bound cookbook. It looks like it's got some decent recipes. And it comes with a cool poster and everything.

But, I'll admit that I was a little freaked out to get a cookbook that comes with its own Surgeon General's Warning.





And Cowboys.....Cookbooks.....There's a Brokeback Mountain joke there somewhere, I know it.

No need for a search party....I'm just at the movies.

This post may sound hypocritical coming from someone who spent roughly 270 hours of 2005 sitting in dark movie theaters. But hear me out.

I finally went to Munich tonight. The Spielberg movie, not the German city. Big difference. It was depressing as hell and ethically ambiguous, with a big dose of extreme graphic violence (if Alfred Hitchcock and Quentin Tarantino somehow made a Jewish baby, THAT would be the Steven Spielberg that made this movie).

In other words.....the movie was nearly perfect.

There was just one little snag.

At about the 105 minute mark, I got this nagging thought in the back of my mind : "Wow....I feel like I've been sitting here for a looooong time. And it doesn't look like they're gonna wrap this all up anytime soon. hmmm."

Followed by: "Yeah. It's official. This is a really fucking long movie."

At that precise moment in any film...the filmmaker has lost me. It can be a really great film, with a crackerjack ending, but suddenly, I'm not IN the movie anymore. I'm sitting in a theater seat. The thermostat is probably either too warm or too cold. I need to pee. There are people coughing and talking and generally irritating me. And no matter how much I loved certain characters 15 or 20 minutes ago, I'm starting to wish they would "just die already and get it over with! Geez!"

In short, the magic is gone for me.

This seems to be happening more and more frequently too. Cinderella Man, Legend of Zorro, King Kong, Narnia, Harry Potter, the list goes on I'm sure. (Walk the Line should probably be included too...but I have to recuse myself from judgment on that matter, due to the Joaquin Phoenix factor. I could watch Joaquin Phoenix swatting flies and doing the Hokey Pokey for 5 hours straight, walk out and get in line for the next showing. I'm biased like that.)

I like going to the movies. Obviously. Unlike 99% of our society, I have no qualms about going to movies by myself (I actually prefer it that way most of the time), so sometimes I just go on a whim. Between appointments. As a reward for spending money on unsavory things like groceries, or clothes. Just, whenever I have a couple hours to kill. But lately, it's getting harder and harder to do that.

Seriously, if I decided to go see King Kong again on a whim, I'd have to call someone and let them know, lest people think I had died or something. Going to movies isn't a whim anymore, it's a fucking commitment! I have to clear my calendar to fit them in. I don't dare go to a 1:00 show on my weekends to work, because I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to get to my job by 4:00.

I think a lot of filmmakers have forgotten the #1 rule of entertainment: "Leave 'em wanting more." If you're going to make a 2.5 or 3 hour movie, you better make it so engaging that the thought of checking my watch never even pops in my head. I better walk out of the theater wishing there were at least 20 or 30 more minutes I could spend in that masterfully spun tale. I just don't see that happening.

Personally, I blame Titanic for this trend of ass-numbingly long movies. Titanic was long. People loved Titanic. Therefore, people love long movies. Hollywood logic. Myself, I hated Titanic. And if had to spend one more melodramatic minute on the "Ship of Dreams," I would have no doubt had an aneurysm.

Don't get me wrong. I LIKE most of the long movies I've seen recently. I enjoy them. I'm glad I saw them. I think they were, for the most part, worth the money I paid to see them. But I don't think they'll wind up making my list of my favorite movies ever. Any glowing review I give them is going to be marred by "It was really long though." And that's a shame.

So, filmmakers: I give you 2 hours. 120 minutes to make your case. By that time, you should be blowing my mind. Otherwise, I'm probably going to be thinking about how much I have to pee or whether I remembered to mail my car insurance payment during the brilliant cinematic conclusion you spent so much time and effort on. Blow me away with your genius, or wrap it up and call it a day.

First Random Ten of the New Year

1. He Lied About Death--Stars
2. Amputations--Death Cab for Cutie
3. I La La Love You--Pixies
4. Tornadoes--Drive-By Truckers
5. Give Me Novacaine/She's a Rebel--Green Day
6. O Sing Transformer--Society of Rockets
7. I Like You--Morrissey
8. If It's Not With You--Phoenix
9. I Wanna Be Your Lover--La Bionda
10. Live Forever--Shaver

Oh yeah....and Happy Anniversary to my parents...married 28 years ago today.

Quit yer bitchin' Hollywood.

This has been the worst year for Hollywood since...blah blah blah. We've been hearing it all year.

But I just looked at a list of 2005 Movie Releases....and I've seen a LOT of them. I've seen a lot of them even in spite of the fact that most of them sucked.

Just so everyone is clear about what a dork I really am, here's the list. Keep in mind that I saw a lot of the suckier ones for work, and therefore got in free and also got paid by the hour for my time. It makes a difference. Trust me. Some of the other suckier ones I was dragged to by other people. I'm probably not friends with those people anymore.

Movies Flamingo Jones Went To in 2005

Are We There Yet?
Coach Carter
Elektra
Hide and Seek
Racing Stripes
White Noise
Boogeyman
Bride and Prejudice
Constantine (2 times)
Cursed
Diary of a Mad Black Woman
Hitch
Man of the House
Nobody Knows
Schultze Gets the Blues
Son of the Mask
Turtles Can Fly
The Wedding Date
Be Cool*
D.E.B.S.
Dear Frankie
Guess Who
Hostage
The Jacket
Melinda and Melinda
Millions
The Pacifier
The Ring Two
Robots
Fever Pitch
The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (4 times)
The Interpreter (2 times)
Palindromes
Sin City
XXX: State of the Union
Crash (2 times)
Kicking and Screaming
The Longest Yard
Madagascar
Monster-in-Law
Star Wars: Episode III—Revenge of the Sith (4 times)
Unleashed
Batman Begins (3 times)
Bewitched
Cinderella Man
Herbie: Fully Loaded
Howl’s Moving Castle
Lords of Dogtown
March of the Penguins
Me and You and Everyone We Know
Mr. and Mrs. Smith
The Perfect Man
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
War of the Worlds (2 times)
Bad News Bears
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (3 times)
Dark Water
Fantastic Four
Hustle and Flow
The Island
Murderball
Must Love Dogs
Sky High
Stealth
Wedding Crashers (2 times)
The 40 Year-Old Virgin (3 times)
Broken Flowers
The Cave
Red Eye
The Skeleton Key
Supercross
Valiant
An Unfinished Life
Cry Wolf
The Exorcism of Emily Rose
Flightplan
The Greatest Game Ever Played
A History of Violence (2 times)
Into the Blue
Just Like Heaven
Lord of War
Roll Bounce
Serenity (2 times)
Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story
Elizabethtown
The Fog
Good Night, and Good Luck
In Her Shoes
The Legend of Zorro
North Country
Prime
Shopgirl (2 times)
Waiting
Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit
The Weather Man
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (3 times)
Jarhead
Just Friends (2 times)
Pride and Prejudice
Walk the Line (4 times)
Zathura
Cheaper by the Dozen 2
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe (2 times)
The Family Stone
King Kong
The Ringer
Rumor Has It

*Doesn't totally count because we walked out half-way.

I will eventually kick the habit of trying to change the world

but until then, I will take an eensy bit of pride in stuff like this:

Luke Blank joined the Chippewa Falls School District’s after-school program two years ago to improve his reading, math and social skills.

Now instead of struggling in school, he excels. Last semester his lowest grade was a B- at Jim Falls Elementary School.

“He was recommended to the program when he was in second grade,” said Luke’s mother, Lisa Blank. “He went through it that year, and it made a huge difference.”

But program director Ruth Adix is concerned federal funding is ending for the district’s Voyager Community Learning Center after-school program.

“I think parents would really miss the support if it were not offered,” Adix said. “I think just in general for students that aren’t involved in music or sports … a program like this has really given them ways to explore their interests.”

The program, which focuses on education at the elementary level and new skills at the middle school level, was started with the help of a $300,000 U.S. Department of Education grant.

The district has received the grant money the past eight years. But with more schools applying and less money to go around, the program may receive no grant money next school year.

After getting involved in the program with her son, Lisa Blank doesn’t want to see it terminated.

She was so impressed with the elementary portion of the after-school program that she began volunteering.

“I actually volunteer, so I see both sides of it,” she said. “I help the other students, and I’m not ‘Mom,’ so it works.”

Elementary children must be recommended to get in the program. Lisa Blank said her son is the firstborn, and she didn’t know how to prepare him for school.

“He just needed overall help, and that’s what it usually is,” she said. “It would be absolutely devastating (if it were not offered). A lot of kids would be hurt.”

About 700 students reap the benefits in the elementary and middle school programs, Adix said.

At the elementary level, Luke Blank is able to expend energy after school by taking a recess break and having a snack, but then it’s right down to homework business.

“First we do playtime, like go outside or play games and stuff,” Blank said. “We say one good thing about your day and one bad thing … then we do homework.”

Yeah. That's my job. Like, it's MY job. Luke is one of my tutoring kids. And that last quote there pretty much sums it up. I can only guess that the ellipsis represents any number of mundane details that kids really like to list specifically ("then we wash our hands. then we say who wants white milk and who wants chocoloate milk. then the leader gets the milk. then we have a snack. then we throw our garbage away. then we get our books out of our backpacks. then we go to the library. then we pick our tables"...etc. etc. etc.) But yeah, that's basically what I do at THAT job.

This does not bode well for 2006.

Things could definitely be boding better.

Mike Sherman got fired this morning. I'm not ashamed to say I cried a little bit. I think this is pretty much the final nail in the coffin of Brett Favre's historic career. I also cried a little bit when I watched Favre run off the field yesterday, because I had a feeling that it might be the last time I'll ever see that.

And now that I'm watching the Capital One Bowl, I get a little choked up every time I see Barry Alvarez on the sidelines.

Today sort of marks the end of Wisconsin football as I know it. That sucks.

UPDATE: Thanks to the Badgers making one of the precious God's-gift-to-football SEC teams their bitch this afternoon, I'm feeling a wee bit better. With 4 minutes left in the game, and Auburn down 24-10, the announcers kept yapping about how Auburn was "still in the game." Had the scores been reversed, I have no doubt that they would have been announcing that it was "all over for Alvarez and his Badgers." It pissed me off. Just a little. With just under a minute left, I'm pretty sure every house within a 2 block radius could hear me screaming "Are they still in the game NOW, Assholes?! ARE THEY STILL IN THE GAME NOOOOOWWWWW?!?" It was probably very disturbing to them.

Random resolution

ala barn and jenny:

In the year 2006 I resolve to: Dedicate my life to making someone else's horribly miserable. Get your resolution here

Good riddance

to bad rubbish.

I know that today I will relish writing 2006 on EVERYTHING.

2005 sucked, huh? This has been a rotten year, all around. In many respects, this has been the worst year of my life. And that's saying a lot, considering it's up against 3rd grade with Mrs. Klingbeil, 9/11, and Teach for America. Yeah, 2005 blew big-time.

I had started making a list of the things I liked about 2005, but it basically turned into a list of cds and movies. I might post that later. Or not. I work 12 hours today.

I switched my cell phone's ringer to Death Cab's "The New Year" late last night.

So this is the New Year. And I don't feel any different.

That's about right. I have a hard time really expecting a lot for 2006. Call me cynical, but I just don't see how anything can change enough to make up for the Grand Suckfest that was 2005, and actually make 2006 GOOD. And it just seems silly to celebrate my hope that "2006 doesn't suck quite as bad. woo hoo!"

So, instead, I will wish everyone a Happy Sunday.